The last two days have been …. interesting. With the massive breach of the Aadhaar database and the usual nonsense spouted by UIDAI, those who always saw these days coming are caught between “I told you so!” and “catastrophe!”
To anyone with the foggiest idea of digital security, the breaches were highly predictable as well as the frustration of Aadhaar mafia’s deliberate disregard for security. But when shit hits the fan, gallows humor is at its best. So here are some selected messages from Twitter and WhatsApp for you to enjoy and get a breather from the outrage.
*Getting an auto*
Dude: "Bhaiya, Hauz Khas chalenge?"
Auto: "60 rupees"
Dude: "No 50"
Auto: "60"
Dude: "50"
Auto: "Ok fine"
Dude: "Accha do you have 500 ka change?"Auto: Nahi lekin I can give entire Aadhaar database ka access!
— Meghnad (@Memeghnad) January 5, 2018
*Ordering Pizza*
"Sir thin crust or normal?"
"Normal."
"Any toppings?"
"What toppings you have?"
"Uhmm…let me see….smoked mushroom for 100 bucks, black olives for 80, entire Aadhaar database for 500…."— Aisi Taisi Democracy (@AisiTaisiDemo) January 5, 2018
What can 500 rupees buy?
*Buys Aadhaar database for Rs 500*
*Sends Happy New Year messages to everyone*
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) January 5, 2018
*Withdrawing Money at ATM*
ATM: How much money do you want to withdraw?
Customer: *punches in 2500*
ATM: Sorry. We have only 2000 denomination notes and access to entire Aadhaar database for Rs 500. Would you like to continue?
Customer: 🙆
— Meghnad (@Memeghnad) January 5, 2018
Guess what you can buy with 50 of these pic.twitter.com/irMNiEPgYx
— Reddit India (@redditindia) January 5, 2018
Linking Aadhaar to everything
Jan 4th – Aadhaar data sold for Rs 500?
"500 only? DAFUQ"
Jan 5th – Aadhaar data sold for Rs. 2-5 per applicant
"DAFUQLOLWUT?"
…
…
Jan 26th – accha bhai main hi tumko 100 Rs deta hun. Ye lo database.#AadhaarFAIL
— Vidyut #DestroyTheAadhaar (@Vidyut) January 5, 2018
"Bhaiya 3 logo ka aadhaar lena hai .. kitne mein doge?"
"Rs 6 .. par chhutta dena hoga .. mere pass change nahi hai"
"Rs 10 bhi nahi?"
"nahi .. tum doh aur details le lo, bhai"#AadhaarFail #aadharrlaeaks #AadhaarFloods
Bandh karo ye attyachar 🙂 https://t.co/0QWZkYE4BX— Shuvankar Mukherjee (@shuvankr) January 5, 2018
aadhar enrolment is free and voluntary.
— H. (@Miister_H) January 5, 2018
Vidyut
Vidyut is a commentator on socio-political issues with a keen understanding of tech and policy. She has been observing and commenting on Aadhaar since 2010 from a perspective of human rights, democracy and technological robustness.
